Hello my lovelies!
Sorry for the delay in getting this to you - I think this is
the first time we have ever been late for a monthly inclusive blog!
I have been keeping busy here in the Mountains learning to ski.
I have finally caught the powder bug; much to the chagrin of my
editor.... it has been cutting into my finishing the book!
And cutting into the timeliness of this blog!
The book is coming along though - I have to say it's pretty hard to
write long form. It's a totally new medium for me. I am so thankful
to have a strong editor who is helping teach me the ropes and helping
me remember that it's one step at a time. All my life I have written
short stories, prose, songs, and poetry - so learning to pace a 350-page
story is a new skill set entirely.
It has been quite a process to try and put my life in a book... it feels like
so much life and so many diverse and opposite phases. It is hard to
believe it all belongs to one person, much less me. The process of writing
though, has been incredibly cathartic.
The CD is coming along too ... trying to stick to my guns about it being a
raw folk record... but sifting through so many songs has been hard! It's also
hard to trust that the solo acoustic performances are good enough as they
are....it's definitely one of those things I could work on forever and never feel done.
My plan is to get them both out at the same time around September of this
year - so apparently it's time to quit skiing and buckle down a little!
I loved hearing about all the EDA values and have begun to put together
a mission statement - I will work on that for my next blog.
Hearing all of your touching stories about the 20th anniversary of POY
was so amazing! It has been lovely to hear what that record meant to you
and how it still touches you. It has healed and transformed my own life
in so many ways it's staggering. You all bless me so much by letting me
see you and hear your hearts. Thank you for rewarding my transparency
with transparency and vulnerability of your own.
So that¹s work. On the personal side, Kase is doing great. He has been in
ski and swim lessons and is kicking butt. Watching him ski down green
and blue runs looks absolutely too cute to tolerate. He is so little and when
he is all bundled up in his helmet, his tiny skis, and his boots the adorability
levels are off the charts.
Ty, Kase, and I all got to vacation in Mexico a few weeks ago. I feel proud
that while our family has changed from what we had hoped for, we are still
able to be our own kind of family and spend time together. I know it makes
Kase so happy and that makes Ty and I happy. It takes a lot of work and
reaching for each other with love and choosing to see what is great about
each other rather than focus on negatives to make this work. It's not an easy
path but one we feel very dedicated to for our son. I feel it¹s my job to handle
all my own feelings of grief and hurt as an adult in a healthy way so that it
does not spill onto our child. It is difficult work but I am certainly not interested
in short fixes or skipping this step. Anger is a red herring and too easy. The
truer path takes courage and always returning to love. This is where real growth
happens, as hard as it is.
I believe it was Rumi who said:
so wild flowers will come up where you are"
Right now I feel more broken than anything, but trust that if I give in
and let myself and my earth be broken, - if I don't hide from all the
raw feelings and sorrow that come, then I will once again be fertile
ground for wild flowers to grow.
I send love to you all, and again thank you for letting me share not only
my journey with you but also your journey with me. We are all walking
on the same path and striving toward fulfillment, balance, peace, and a
deep deep sense of joy and self worth.