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Goodbye Alice in Wonderland
Track Listing:

Listen dear, I need you to hear
I cannot disappear
I've tried again & again & again & again
I know we said that we'd give up
Said we'd had enough again & again & again & again
But you, you're always on my mind
It's like this all the time
Say it's cause you're mine all mine

And if you will, I will
Try to let it go
And if you try, I'll try
Try to let it show us the way
Cause love is here to stay
Just look me in the eye this is do or die
I will not say enough till you say enough
There is no giving in, there is no givin' up in love

Walk down the street stare at lots of things
That pass in steady streams, again & again & again & again
Do what I should, try to stay busy
Your face is all I see, again & again & again & again
But you youíre always on my mind
Itís like this all the time
Say itís cause youíre mine all mine

And if you will, I will
Try to let it go
And if you try, I'll try
Try to let it show us the way
Cause love is here to stay
Just look me in the eye this is do or die
I will not say enough till you say enough
There is no giving in, there is no givin' up in love

Like a movie I once saw
In the darkness I recall
Feeling the beauty and the pain
When you called my name
Say you feel the same

'Cause if you will, I will
Try to let it go
And if you try, I'll try
Try to let it show us the way
Cause love is here to stay
Just look me in the eye this is do or die
I will not say enough till you say enough
There is no giving in, there is no givin' up
In love, in love
We're in love.



The lights are bright in the circus
The geeks and the freaks all light cigarettes
And laugh at your misery
While the weight of the curtain closing crushes your heart
The inertia of loneliness tears your flesh apart

It's a long slow slide
It's a long slow slide
It's a long slow slide...down

Once the neon is gone
There's still that golden splinter at your side
His manners are charming, but who are you fooling
You are still nobody's bride
And Bukowski's widow haunts each empty seat on the ferris wheel,
Ghoulish lovers collide
In a collage of kisses that they steal

It's a long slow slide
It's a long slow slide
It's a long slow slide...down

And outside the window
The circus crackles and lurches with rings of smoke
You laugh half-heartedly at the punchline
Not realizing they've made you the joke
Inside my heart a war is raging
In regions still untamed
The worst fear I can imagine
Is for the mystery to be named
For the mystery to be named

It's a long slow slide
It's a long slow slide
It's a long slow slide
It's a long slow slide
It's a long slow slide
It's a long slow slide...down



[Verse 1:]
It's four in the afternoon
I'm on a flight leaving L.A.
Trying to think about my life
My youth scattered along the highway

Hotel rooms and headlines
I've made a living with a song
Just a guitar as my companion
Wanting desperately to belong

Fame is filled with spoiled children
They grow fat on fantasy
I guess that's why I'm leaving
I crave reality

[Chorus 1:]
So goodbye Alice in Wonderland
Goodbye yellow brick road
There is a difference between dreaming and pretending
I did not find paradise
It was only a reflection of my lonely mind searching
For what was missing in my life

[Verse 2:]
I'm embarassed to say the rest is a rock and roll cliche
I hit the bottom when I reached the top
I never knew it was you who was breaking my heart
I thought you had to love me
You did not

Yes a heart can hallucinate
If it's completely starved for love
Can even make monsters seem like
Angels from above

You forged my love like a weapon
And turned it against me like a knife
You broke my last heartstring
But you opened up my eyes

[Chorus 2:]
So goodbye Alice in Wonderland
Goodbye yellow brick road
There is a difference between dreaming and pretending
That was not love in your eyes
It was only a reflection of my lonely mind wanting
what was missing in my life

[Bridge:]
Dreaming is a good thing cause it brings new things to life
Pretending is an ending that perpetuates a lie
Forgetting what you are
Seeing for what you've been told
And growing up is not the absence of dreaming
It's being able to understand the difference between the ones you can hold
And the ones that you've been sold

[Verse 3:]
Well, truth is stranger than fiction
And this is my chance to get it right
Life is much better without all of your pretty lies

[Chorus 3:]
So Goodbye Alice in Wonderland
You can keep your yellow brick road
Cause there is a difference between dreaming and pretending
That was not love in your eyes
It was only a reflection of my lonely mind wanting
It was only a reflection of my lonely mind wishing
That you were what was missing from my life




Say to myself
"Self, why are you awake again?" It's one a.m.
Standing at the fridge wide-open, staring
Such a sight, fluorescent light, the stars are bright
I might make a wish, if I believed in that shit
But, as it is, I might watch TV
Cause it's nice to see people more messed up than me
I say to myself, as I smile at the wall
Let myself fall

"It's gonna be all right,
No matter what they say
It's gonna be a good day
Just wait and see
It's gonna be all right
Cause I'm all right with me
It's gonna be, it's gonna be
It's gotta be..."

I shiver, shut the door
Can't think standing here no more
I'm alone, my mind's racing, heart breaking
Can you be everything I need you to be
Can you protect me like a daughter
Can you love me like a father
Can you drink me like water
Say I'm like the desert, just way hotter

The point of it all
Is that if I should fall
Still your name I'll call

"It's gonna be all right,
No matter what they say,
Gonna be a good day
Just wait and see
It's gonna be okay
Cause I'm okay with me
It's gonna be, it's gonna be
As long as we laugh out loud
And laugh like we're mad
Cause this crazy mixed up beauty's all that we had
Because what's love, but an itch we can't scratch
A joke we can't catch, God, but still we laugh

Get back in bed, turn off the TV
You say, "It'll be okay, baby, just wait and see"
It's gonna be all right, it's gonna be okay
It's gonna be a all right, just wait and see
It's gonna be all right, no matter what they say
Gonna be a good day, just wait, just see
Gonna be okay, cause I'm okay with me
It's gonna be
It's gonna be
It's gonna be okay

Uh-oh, I'm awake again. It's one a.m.
Staring, such a sight,
Well, at least the stars are bright.



Babies on beach blankets headed for Mars
Cute boys with crew cuts and day-glo surfboards
There's a pretty lady in a bikini
Her eyes are bright, but her teeth look like smashed out
window panes
Trying to fix her dreams with sushi and facials and carrot juice

There's a white wall that we can't see over now
But that's okay we're still learning
Mistakes, they are allowed if you're a satellite, oh...

Yoga classes so you can look good in your singles bar
California's sure lovely, it's the home of the stars
And everybody is a nice body
But souls are like shadows, hollow inside, choked and hiding behind
Volleyballs and valium and powerbars

There's a white wall that we can't see over now
But that's okay we're still learning
Mistakes, they are allowed, if you're a satellite, oh...

We understand a lot of things
About modern technology but not about dreams
Our hearts are on the shelves, we can't fix ourselves, but we can fix a satellite
Cause in hollywood the heros are strung out on grace
And half-skinned gypsies are crying leave this place

There's a white wall that we can't see over now
But that's okay we're still learning
Mistakes, they are allowed, if you're a satellite, oh...
We can fix a satellite, oh...

The pope can't fix my broken heart
Rock and roll can't fix my broken heart
Valium can't fix my broken heart
Miss Cleo can't fix my broken heart
But will you fix my broken heart
Oh, will you fix my broken heart?

Cause I'm gonna give you
Satellite, satellite, satellite, satellite
satellite, satellite, satellite, satellite tonight
Fix my broken heart
Fix my broken heart
Satellite
Satellite, satellite



I am talking but you can't quite hear what I say
I come closer
but you push me away
I should leave
but I don't have the strength
I can't think

Please can't you see that I am down on my knees
My heart's in your hand
and you squeeze
I want the whole thing
but you give me a part
it's time to start
so I push and you pull
and I don't know which way to go

[Chorus]
Stop Me, Stop me from falling
cause I can see
then I'll love you only
when I am the only one, too

I just can't make you understand
I want your heart but you hold up your hand
you say space is what you need
but you want me
to be true
to just you
while you get to do whatever you want to

[Chorus]
[Bridge:]
You'll never stop
it's gotta change
you don't want a lover
you want a world of slaves
I can't resist falling into those arms
those boyish charms
you think I won't leave
yes you're good, but not so good I can't see

[Chorus]




Come here buttercup
Let me fill you up
Can't you see i'm the blue in your skies
You can tell by the stars in my eyes
Dawn always comes too soon
It hurts me like a bruise
There's a hole in my pillow
Where you used to be
It feels like a hole in the middle of me

[Chorus:]

Oh, oh, oh just take my hand
To have and hold if not obey
Oh, oh, oh say you're still my man
I'll try to find the words to say
That i want you always to stay
To wake up with you every single day
But words get in the way
Words get in the way

Tell your boss you're dead
And let's go back to bed
You make me want to break out in song
But everytime i try it just comes out wrong

[Chorus]

I leave a message on your answering machine
I try to say what i really mean

[Chorus]




Tonight I have the strangest feeling
Look for answers on a hotel ceiling
When did my heart first feel this way?
Being alone used to be just fine.
Now life without you is just passing time.

I thought I heard you call my name.
Reached for you're hand, it was in vein.
When you're here, it feels like a hole in my chest.
Get dressed, look in the mirror, say
"You're heart will never be the same."

So I drive to you tonight
I was blind, now I have sight.
I could not leave you even if I tried.
You're heart beats inside of me.
Like a star in the dark of night,
Like birds lost in flight.
The clouds in the sky are blue
I belong with you.

I've been together, but alone.
I've made love without love being shown.
I've seen sorrow in a pair of dice,
All things that came in two's made me cry
Until tonight.

So I drive to you tonight
I was blind, now I have sight.
I could not leave you even if I tried.
You're heart beats inside of me.
Like a star in the dark of night,
Like birds lost in flight.
The clouds in the sky are blue
I belong with you.

Can't stop, won't stop.
Love is all we've got
Know how much I love ya
When I put my arms around you
Can't stop, won't stop
You are all I want

So I drive to you tonight
I was blind, now I have sight.
I could not leave you even if I tried.
You're heart beats inside of me.
Like a star in the dark of night,
Like birds lost in flight.
The clouds in the sky are blue, yea
The clouds in the sky are blue
I belong with you.




Your lungs fill up with concrete
Her voice is all you can hear
Red lips and a screwdriver
Wrapped around some mink clad queer
And you know that she's no diamond
In this damn jukebox hell
Cause only fools gold fools fools
In two-bit hotels
But she's cooler than all that
A real high class cat
Queen of the last dance rodeo

Under the gas lamp the air is thick and velvetine
Your bones fill with hunger
Your heart fills with longing
You're no longer human
You're an insatiable hole
You wanna bury your face forever in the navel of her soul
Cause you know

All you need is a heart to call home
All you need is a heart to call home - that's all

Lightbulbs and nylons
And plastic chandeliers
Objects are only objects
They can't feel when you're near
But tangerine lips & lily white breasts
These things are eternal
Inside them humanity rests
Her skin is like a seashell
You listen to her soul
Like an old time radio show

Cause under the gas lamp the air is thick and velvetine
Your bones fill with hunger
Your heart fills with longing
You're no longer human
You're an insatiable hole
You wanna bury your face forever in the navel of her soul
Cause you know

All you need is a heart to call home
All you need is a heart to call home - that's all

Don't wander too far
My one constant star
Darkness exists
except where you are
My feet are filled with wandering
They follow your own
Cause everyhwere you are feels like home

So search all you miners
You hunters of dreams
Look in the alleyways
For what you know is not what it seems
And feign all you maidens
But don't resist too long
Lest you look behind you
And see your own shadow is gone

Don't you know?
It's the last rodeo
You gotta find yourself a cowboy
Or someone to keep you warm when it's cold

Cause under the gas lamp the air is thick and velvetine
Your bones fill with hunger
Your heart fills with longing
You're no longer human
You're an insatiable hole
You wanna bury your face forever in the navel of her soul
Cause you know
All you need is a heart to call home
All you need is a heart to call home - that's all



If u want my heart
U have 2 promise not 2 tear it apart
'Cause my heart
Has been hurt a lot
And it always seems
Love is not sweet, like in dreams
Something falls through
But I don't want that 2 happen 2 me and u

[CHORUS]

So be
Careful, warning
Fragile heart

Last Saturday
We ate dinner at your parents' place
Last Saturday, u said
How u feel will not go away
Well, all the fishes in the sea
Could not be happier than me

[CHORUS]

Only fools believe that
Nothing changes, nothing leaves
But I need 2 believe that we at least
Will have some dignity
'Cause everything changes
Nothing stays the same
But that's no excuse 2 be casual
Or 2 place the blame
U have 2 be careful with me

[CHORUS]




Housewives trying to recapture their youth
By wearing floral print and suede
Fixing their hairdos with PC, chemical-free hairspray
Martha Stewart taught them to make on TV
I was raised a farmgirl
I'm too far from home, all alone on the road
Trying to figure out who I am now the the stardust has turned to sand
And the sand has turned to stone on the starmaking machine

I'm 25 years old
That ain't the end but it sure ain't where I began

And my daddy, he wrote songs and he broke colts
And he went back to school to get a degree
Now he teachs music to kids, he taught music to me
And this Alaskan girl was living in Stephenville, Texas
Yes, you guessed it, I moved here because I fell in love with a man
And I moved his ex-old lady's things out of the closet
The same closet I had to move my things back in
It didn't make me feel that great, as if to demonstrate
Everything's temporary given enough time
But hey, I've got nothing to lose
I'm a singer for crowds, I'm a writer of songs
Hey Mom, look, I'm an entertainer
I'm a modern day troubadour trying to find justice with six strings
Trying to make the world make sense out of me
Trying to be loved completely, trying to love honestly
Trying to find a decent high noon cup of tea
In another shitty hotel
I'm trying to listen to the leaves speak
Trying to steal secrets from fishes in the creek
Trying to figure out who I am
A singer, a pretty bad cook, maybe a good mom
What will it be?

And I'm 25 years old
That ain't the end but it sure ain't where I began

I'm trying to figure out who I am
But there's no hand to hold, no Doctor Martin Luther King
There's just syncophants
And the mindlessness on TV or in the magazines
On the latest ways to behave
So why not follow me, the blond bombshell deity?
I'll sell you neat ideas without big words
And a little bit of cleavage to help wash it all down
Hey, everybody thought Godard was a clown
And that ain't gonna be me

And I'm 25 years old
That ain't the end but it sure ain't where I began
And I'm 25 years old
That ain't the end but it sure ain't where I began
Guess that just means I'm in Texas




I called you late last night
Said you didn't feel like talkin'
Had to blow off a little bit of steam
Said you were tired of feeling so up-tight

You make me so blue
Oh, I get so lost inside of you, but
I can not always find my way
To where you are

Oh, used to be so easy
Use to be so much fun
You say (yea) that was back when you belived in my love, but that

Things are not so simple now
Oh, I've turned off the lights somehow, and
In the darkness you cannot always find your way
To where I am

Please don't
Take your lights from me
'Cause of you did
I would no longer be able to see
Please, can't you see
I need, you

I am a princess and I'm locked inside this stone tower of song, and I
I'm trying to write messages on the wondow baby, God I just wanna belong

Choose me
Choose me
Pick me, take me, oh I need to believe
Oh, no one else exsits for you now, and
No one else exsists for me
Oh, you are my home, and I have
Finally found my way
To where you are




It's morning time, wonder where you are
wonder who you're talking to
wonder if the sun has risen where you are
it's morning time, i miss your hands on my skin
this bed's too big without you
oh god, what do i do?
I'm a thousand miles away, and I'm lying next to you.

The sun shines golden, and I feel like my car
a little run down, a little beat up, maybe just a little green
maybe it's my battery, maybe it's my starter,
maybe my heart's too weak
there's just this feeling, thought I had to get going
got too scary, got too big, got to get out of here
but now i don't know how to get home.
oh god, what do I do?
I'm a thousand miles away, and lying next to you.

Mama says take my vitamins,
daddy says "girl, don't stay out so late"
sister says "there's other fishes in the sea"
but love is not a rational thing, and my heart is beyond advice
no, love is not a rational thing
oh god, what do I do?
I'm a thousand miles away, and lying next to you.

these fields stretch out like patchwork, on my granny's quilt
she used to tell me that
"life is a series of strange and mysterious things
one minute you think you're up, the next you find you're down"
your mind says "girl, you gotta stick around"
but your heart says "I'm too weak in the knees"
oh god, what do I do?
I'm a thousand miles away, and lying next to you.